Let's Try that Again....

…my last post addressing the New Year was rather cynical and aloof which really isn’t my style, so let’s begin anew…

Happy New Year!

Believe me, I’m fully aware the New Year is well underway but I’ve always been a late bloomer. I consistently prove to be ‘a day late a dollar short’ type of person so bear with me as I indulge you with my thoughts on beginning 2013.

If you recall my post last year at this time (click here to read it), I pronounced I didn’t believe in making resolutions merely because the pages of January replaced December. Why set myself up for failure when weeks later, I undoubtedly will fall short of said desired goals.

Therefore, I will proceed with declaring my ‘word’ that will be the focus of the next 365 days. Last year my word was ‘present’ as in ‘to be present’. My hopes when choosing this utterance were many but primarily to allow my mind and heart to center on the places and people within my midst at any given moment. The desire was to negate worrying about circumstances in which I had no immediate control.

To surmise my progress I must update the happenings of 2012. A job transfer necessitated a school swap which altered my immediate supporting cast; need I remind you I am not a proponent for change? My time, energy and efforts gravitated toward the eleven precious little ones under my care at school while my husband and son soldiered on and held down the home front.

So was I ‘present’ throughout? While the answer to that precise inquiry is up for discussion I do know one thing; the New Year does invite one to pause and evaluate the status of one’s life, namely mine.  I’ve given immense vigor without regret in the workings of my classroom so I am able to comfortably stand before you and proclaim my word of 2013…

Drum rolls please….BALANCE!

The focus of my days, at least for the next 359 is to retain those activities I relinquished; my blogging, marketing my book as well as developing the next. I will preserve the sacrificed quality time with ‘my boys’ in the evenings and on the weekends rather than conduct school work.  I will uphold taking care of myself in regards to taking walks and eating healthy. I will carry on the interests in scrapbooking, reading and photography. But most of all, I will sustain the behaviors of being the friend I’m known to be for folks in my life that need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear or could do with a hug.

Accordingly, in 2013 I can and will work in the direction of grasping all elements that encompass a full and healthy life; I welcome and embrace the ensuing transformation.

Welcome 2013!

 

"Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life-

learn some and think some

 and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some."

Robert Fulghum

A letter to 2012~

Dear 2012,


As characteristic, you began that dark evening at the stroke of midnight with such hope and promise as all new beginnings do; we clung to it as that of a child with a security blanket.

I imagine we were all attempting to prevail over the tragedies of 2011; the Penn State scandal, the assassination attempt on Gabby Giffords that ultimately killed 6 and wounded a dozen others and the deadliest tornadoes in the southern United States that killed hundreds. We were repeatedly disillusioned with our government with rising gas prices and our involvement in foreign issues that took billions of U.S. monies from the citizens in our own backyard to name a few.

But alas, the year was closing and the eagerness to embark upon you, 2012 came with exuberance and excitement. Fair or not, we placed on your commencement immense anticipation of transporting responses to our prayers and cheerful progressions to our dreams.

With the passing of 365 days however, I am NOT filled with hope as I desired, but rather disappointment and despair in our world. Those feelings also were encompassed by family and friends. Many have buried loved ones and struggle daily with loss and depression. Jobs have been lost but not a hint to replace- unemployment checks vanished as our government would rather engage in recreation than resolve problems.

Our paychecks are smaller as a result of exorbitant tax rates and expanding insurance costs (although most can’t afford to even undergo medical procedures without amassing major debt) yet the cost of goods continue to mount. Our world’s anger is evident as growing violence and mass killings occur that bewilder and perplex.

So 2012, your time has come to an end and our faith and optimism is now placed upon 2013. Like my loved ones, obscured deep within is the undying optimist that my world-OUR world will ring in the New Year and suddenly the obstacles will be addressed and diminished.

However, I have misplaced that childish belief that a fresh number will carry with it new-fangled ideals, but I do take comfort in these words: Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it has all come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself; how did I ever get through all of that?

God willing…

In closing, I bid you farewell 2012 and welcome 2013~



Did you see her?

Did you see her?

Yeah, the special needs teacher who previously composed this blog on a regular basis. Most likely, her followers think she’s vanished off the face of the Earth which wouldn’t be far from the truth. 

SHE actually thought she dropped into the abyss as well, but closer to the truth; she has been cleaning, purging junk, organizing and transforming her classroom for the preparation of the precious children under her tutelage.

Existence flanked by the clear out and entrance of students was undetected and the days just rolled into one another. However, with great anticipation that first day the kids appeared where she silently questioned ‘Where in Heaven’s name did the good Lord steer the passage of her ship?’

I am familiar with the situation because that ‘her’ is me….

Fast forward to today-seven weeks later where she, or rather I, can now declare with certainty I am in love! The Cross Categorical Kindergarten I now teach is a perfect landing spot.

One of my little guys is C- who has autism and can be described as intelligent, self-serving and determined as well as warm, loving and sensitive. These qualities were never more evident on Wednesday of last week. It was dismissal so of course it was raining. As his number was called we vacated the safe domain of the building into the soft showers. At this point, he looked at me and said, 'you don't have an umbrella' to which I affirm his observations.

He reaches to his head to remove his hat and asks me to bend down as he places his hat on my head. Warmth envelops me as this petite four year old proceeds to wrap his head with his slight arm to remain dry. My heart melted and I realized every part of my being is captured.

Is it easy? By all means that is an emphatic NO! I don’t recall a point in time where I worked so intensely from the start of the school day to the final bell.  Nevertheless, the rewards have been abundant. 

 

"The journey is the reward."

Chinese Proverb

Who said you can't get anything for free!

Life through the Eyes of a Hurricane: Doggie-Dog!

The 12-Step Program

 Okay, I’m a lost and broken dog. I have a terrible confession: I have a sock fetish, which according to the dictionary means “an obsessive or unhealthy preoccupation or attachment with an object.”

 But there, I said it . . . and often heard that the first step in overcoming an addiction is to admit I have a problem. It is a terrible problem. I can’t get enough socks, which is even more of a problem because they aren’t my socks!

 Well, they eventually become my socks because I chew and tear so many holes in them that no one can wear the foot coverings by time I’m done with them, but that’s beside the point.

 You see, they are my family’s socks. I can’t help it and I am so ashamed of myself. Whenever I see a sock in the laundry basket I have to go grab it, stretch it until I hear that priceless sound:  ripping. AAHHHH, a sound of satisfaction! Tear it, shred it, and grate it; that is when they are at their best!

 Even though Big D has tucked them deep into the toe of the shoe, I like to get into Big Daddy’s running shoes. I stick my nose into the cavernous shoe until I can reach just a teensy-weensy thread and pull it out. Yeah, I know, the smell is pretty unpleasant and you’d think that would deter me, but I guess that indicates how desperate my dilemma is.

 I’ve even been known to chase Little Daddy around the house when he’s taking his shoes off so I can grab a sliver of the cloth and help in pulling it off his foot. If I do that, then at least the taste is in my mouth and there’s a better chance I get to keep it since I put the entire sock in my jawbone and slobber all over it. They don’t like to touch it when it is coated with dribble.

 Then, I dash into my favorite upstairs hiding place: under the bed. I know, I know, I’m a big dog but I can still fit under the bed and no one comes in after me. The beauty of that is they know I have the upper hand, so they go to the cabinet in the bathroom to get a biscuit to entice me to come out. When I hear that box, I immediately go to my bed, the heck with the sock!―a quest for a later time and date. Besides, I have the best of both worlds: a biscuit AND the sock!

 Yes, it is true. I go to great lengths to feed my addiction. I follow Nee Nee up the stairs biting at her heals until she gives them up, or until I trip her. Sorry, Nee Nee! Or, I stand on my hind legs at the washer and dryer searching for strays, and park myself politely at the dryer while clothes are being folded to quickly grab one that may fall on the floor. I’m getting pretty good at Snatch-and-Go’s.

Now, if you want to know how the story finishes, go to Amazon.com to download the book Life through the Eyes of a Hurricane: Doggie-Dog! This e-book will be free for this week ONLY! (SAle ends Saturday, July 7.
So tell your friends, tell your neighbors and tell your relatives that there is something free in life.
Fellow bloggers; post the information on your blog if you want to help me promote my book~

‘GUILTY!!…’ the jury revealed...

I refuse to display his photo as it would ‘dirty’ my blog. However, by now, I’m certain you’ve caught a glimpse of evil…the sinful face of Jerry Sandusky, although as the verdict was read he didn’t appear so haughty, did he?

Jerry—also the name of my stepfather who sexually abused me. So if you can envision the memories evoked within as the Penn State Scandal went viral in November and the case of Sandusky was brought to light.  Unknowingly with each news clip or mention of the name my heart dove into the recollection abyss.

Memories of late night fondling’s came flooding back as well as the precise moment as a teenager upon hearing the definition of a virgin and knowing in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t. Rarely was I able to leave for college without enduring a longing kiss that should only be meant for intimate partners.

The victims of Sandusky are courageous souls whose lives have been distorted and forever detoured by the sadistic and self-absorbed deeds of a once-trusted individual. I for one admire and significantly appreciate the strength each possessed to express their truths in a public forum, particularly with accusations of ulterior motives of financial gain.

In life each experience shapes us. Those of us who have endured sexual abuse know facets of our lives reflect those actions against our innocence; a lack of trust of others, depression, eating disorders and a general dis-connect to the world.

But on this day with a verdict of G-U-I-L-T-Y, justice is being served on a golden platter, and with this, may ALL the “Jerry’s” of the world rot in hell.

“Even if things don't unfold the way you expected, don't be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.”

By Daisaku Ikeda

the outsider....

Continuously the recluse

She stands alone enveloped in thought-

In the midst of a crowded room

 She peers at the swarming clusters

and desiries to be pursued, noticed.

Her protective shield composed,

Her feelings submerged within the abyss,

professing it doesn’t matter

that she exists solitary and forlorn

forever as the outsider~

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."

Thoughts of You...

As my days become busy with the numerous activities of closing one school year and preparing for the opening of another, know that even though moments are filled I continue to think of you! I cast upon you the words of this Irish Blessing.

“May your days be many and your troubles be few.

May all God’s blessings descend upon you.

May peace be within you,

May your heart be strong.

May you find what you’re seeking wherever you roam.”