‘GUILTY!!…’ the jury revealed...

I refuse to display his photo as it would ‘dirty’ my blog. However, by now, I’m certain you’ve caught a glimpse of evil…the sinful face of Jerry Sandusky, although as the verdict was read he didn’t appear so haughty, did he?

Jerry—also the name of my stepfather who sexually abused me. So if you can envision the memories evoked within as the Penn State Scandal went viral in November and the case of Sandusky was brought to light.  Unknowingly with each news clip or mention of the name my heart dove into the recollection abyss.

Memories of late night fondling’s came flooding back as well as the precise moment as a teenager upon hearing the definition of a virgin and knowing in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t. Rarely was I able to leave for college without enduring a longing kiss that should only be meant for intimate partners.

The victims of Sandusky are courageous souls whose lives have been distorted and forever detoured by the sadistic and self-absorbed deeds of a once-trusted individual. I for one admire and significantly appreciate the strength each possessed to express their truths in a public forum, particularly with accusations of ulterior motives of financial gain.

In life each experience shapes us. Those of us who have endured sexual abuse know facets of our lives reflect those actions against our innocence; a lack of trust of others, depression, eating disorders and a general dis-connect to the world.

But on this day with a verdict of G-U-I-L-T-Y, justice is being served on a golden platter, and with this, may ALL the “Jerry’s” of the world rot in hell.

“Even if things don't unfold the way you expected, don't be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.”

By Daisaku Ikeda

Happy Valley isn't so happy...

“Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.”

By Alfred A. Montapert

Nowhere is the content of this quote more evident than in the happenings at Penn State University and the sex abuse allegations by Jerry Sandusky.

I’ve been trying for a week or more to pen my thoughts on these happenings; unsuccessfully, of course. With a history of having been sexually abused my feelings range from disgust, to rage, to repulsion and more that I am unable to tag at this point in time.

I vacillate from the loathing of Sandusky to compassion for Joe Paterno. The part of me that values long term commitments, a life of dedication to youth and integrity, building strong ideals for our youth honors JoePa. But that’s where the empathy for Joe Paterno stops…

It also stops for Jim Calhoun, the custodian who witnessed Sandusky in the showers with a young boy but alerted no one. Compassion also ceases for Ronald Petrosky, another Penn State employee who observed him sodomizing a youngster; and reported this to no one. How could these individuals live with themselves for said number of years? Was it difficult for them to look into the mirror daily and know the lies they were harboring?

How about Mike McQueary, the assistant coach who still has a job even though he too was a bystander. Yes, he told those above him, but never made certain those claims were acted upon. I also find it interesting that he made mention of the incident to his father and his father didn’t direct him to call authorities?

Certainly, not all is clear at this point, with plenty of blame to go around and this is only the formation of a lengthy arduous battle. My twelve year old son is struggling to make meaning of this total state of affairs and I am thankful he can view it with a clear detachment. Our conversations have been bountiful and I find myself muttering a plethora of ‘I don’t knows’ in response to his intricate inquiries.

However, I did make one point abundantly and blatantly clear to him: Doing the right thing isn’t always the easy thing. Martin Luther spoke eloquently when he said, ‘You are not only responsible for what you say, but what you don’t say.’

…and too many people didn’t say enough!