I know-it’s been a short time since I’ve posted; I’ve been on hiatus…sounds better than just being inundated with obligatory tasks related to beginning a new school year, doesn’t it?
I wasn’t even planning on posting today, however a happening will occur today for my child will most likely fracture his heart and this part of being a parent, I do not like! ...sometimes I don't like being a mom~
As a parent, how do you keep your child from being saddened by life’s experiences? I presume you can’t but however as a mother, I certainly want to wrap him in a bubble and protect him from all disappointments and hurts that will occur.
However, CONGRATULATIONS are in order for one of Nicholas’ most cherished individuals; Ms. Amy Betz. As Nicholas transitioned to middle school last year she was an intern who deeply touched the heart and life of my child. She is sweet, caring person who has that ability to touch the heart of a child (and adults) and make them feel as if the world is their stage.
Her kindness and insight gave Nicholas confidence to conquer the middle school world and navigate this unknown territory with self-belief and self-reliance; recognizing Ms. Betz would be there to catch him if he fell.
However, as all fine things eventually come to an end, so did her stint as intern. The last month of school Nicholas steered his own course and was pleased that Ms. Betz would return to his school in a different capacity, but not her area of expertise. Nicholas was thrilled and over-joyed; his buoyancy restored!
Fast forward to today—Ms. Betz was granted a position as Assistant Principal at our local high school; congratulations are in order as her dream has been granted! …in the same vein, my son will hear the heart-breaking news this day.
So my question this morning is this; as a parent, how do you keep your child sheltered from a world of disappointment? I already know the answer to this rhetoric question...I guess you don't~ but what I want to say is this...
Run my dear
From anything
That may not strengthen
...your precious budding wings
Run like hell my dear...
-Hafiz, The Gift
32 comments:
Ohk I think by this time you must have broken the news to your lil son.Congrats to Ms Betz anyway! I only hope your son takes it sportingly.
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I think I still try to shelter mine a bit, even as adults. I hate to see any kid sad.Nice to hear from you, I have missed you.
I have a very close friend who sheltered her son so much he couldn't cope with any darn thing as a young man. He never had to learn. It was so sad to witness. He is now 23 and when he has an obstacle in life he can't neither cope or figure it out. This young man is not prepared for the world and how sad at 23 he was never given the tools. She realizes it now but what can she do now?
I know it is hard to watch someone you love so much discover the pain in the world but learning to cope with it is such a great lesson that can be cushioned with love from a parent.
I am so thrilled that Ms. Betz was such a beacon for your son. And congrats to her for the promotion!
Congratulations definitely are in order to Ms. Betz.
Since I'm not a parent, I don't have this to deal with. I think it would be very tough -- you can't shield your child from life's disappointments and sorrows, because there will be many. A great many. So you want to give them the skills and tools to be emotionally resilient, yet not become despondent and discouraged by life's losses. Daunting.
just one of the many 'toughen up' lessons to be learned along the way to adulthood.
Well, life if full of hurts from childhood to adult I am sorry to say. If we have caring parents that can help us through those difficult times when we are young that will help us when we get older. I did not have that kind of help but was told to buck up and get over it (stern military family). This may have helped me in my adulthood, but when looking back, a hug and "I Love You" would have been much more comforthing. Not having children I cant lend any advise, I think you already have a head start with your love for him and your hugs will get him through his pain.
Hope you are staying cool gal, its harsh outside.
What a beautiful touching post. With 4 now grown sons; I had my share of trying to mend broken hearts. From my experience, Boys do not show their true feelings like girls do, but they still hurt and only a mom can make it a little better. Reading you today; I can feel you are a great Mom.
This too shall pass.
Rita
As a mom you do want to protect your child from all these bad things of growing up. But as an educator you know it's an important part of growing up that he does need to experience so that he can handle it as an adult.
Hugs and prayers headed to him and you so that you can get through this.
We can't protect them forever. I have four -- grown now, but remember seeing/feeling the hurt each time they experienced the frequently painful things that are a part of growing up. You love them, you're there for them, but you can't make the tough things disappear. Hooray for the Ms. Betzs of the day! My thoughts are with you and your son.
Sylvia
So sorry! Yes, we are going through the same thing with our five year old granddaughter. She got 8 cavities from having to take anti-biotics for a year, and now has to undergo five dentist appointments, which are horrible!! So you can only shield and protect them so much. But you can LISTEN, and sympathize, and do anything you can to make it easier, just let him know you are there to support him.
I heard this somewhere and it has always helped me:
Don't prepare the path for your child. Prepare your child for the path.
Hi Tracy, Guess I learned more and more with each kid.. We sheltered the first one WAY too much... I was much better with the younger two---and didn't protect them from life. Both of them grew up to be much more self-assured as adults...
Your son will have many role-models throughout life. Let him deal with it in HIS way. The best thing for you is not to make a big deal out of it with him... He's growing up.. Let him handle it in his way. He will be fine I'm sure. He has YOU to talk to.
Hugs,
Betsy
BTW, beautiful photo. :-)
Oh I do feel for you, their hurts truly are ours too. I think all we can really do is be there for them and be there as their safety net. Maybe we just have to trust that we've given them the tools to cope in this world ... not always easy I know! I do hope he's ok x
I think lots of I love you's and we can get through this and looking forward will help. We all have to learn how to handle hard things in life though and we can do it. :D
Yay for Ms Betz!! Interns like her make learning worthwhile and should be treasured and nurtured and supported by the school system.
And Yay for your son for finding his own way supported by his loving mum and wonderful friend!
Take care
x
Being a mom is the hardest job you ever loved.
Oh, but we shouldn't try to shelter our kids too much, because life experiences help them grow to be who they are supposed to be. They have to learn the worst parts of life sooner or later (I know you know that), and I know it hurts to see their innocence taken away.
Sheltering only prolongs reality, but then you know that. :)
She planted the seeds of confidence in him. Surely they will continue to grow.
Perhaps when he realizes that this is a wonderful thing for her, he can be proud and pleased for her.
Another teacher will hopefully take her place in making school exciting.
Even when they are older you try to shield them, but you can't, of course. You can just try to soften things and be there to catch them or help them back to their feet again if they fall.
Contrary to the belief that too much sheltering is not good, I believe that there is no such thing as overprotection. I believe in sheltering but I also believe in telling the truth for example I will tell a child that there could be bad people in the world but not every one is bad. Also I will tell a child that because he is young and inexperienced chances are some people will take advantage of him. In time, he will be able to look out for himself and untill then he is better off listening to what grown ups (who care) have to say. Back home in India not only your Mom and Dad do the parenting, but also grandparents uncles, aunts, neighbours, household help and also your older siblings look out for you. It feels good to be protected:)
We do try to shelter them, but sometimes it's impossible. I agree with Daisy, we even try when the're grown but sometimes we just try to catch them when they fall..Susie
This is a tough one. Over sheltering is almost as bad as not trying to shelter them at all. And, it is hard to know what or how much to let them take some hard knocks.
I think the key is the love, understanding and concern we provide during times like this. These are the easy ones...the tough ones are yet to come. kt
At least now he can look forward to high school. Hiatus hey?! Me too, and I am running but I ain't getting anywhere. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
I'm not a parent but at age 52 my 76 year old mother still tries to shelter me-- So all I can suggest is to jsut love him.
Congrats to Ms B.
Cheers, jj
Life is usually full of disappointments and weathering them makes us more resilient if those disappointments are put into the proper perspective. What is best for everyone in the long run? What new doors of opportunities are opened in the wake of what appears to be disappointment? What can a disappointment be compared to in something else that has happened in ones life?
As a dad maybe I was sometimes harsher than a mom might be, but I wanted my girls to be realistic about life. They seem to be pretty strong, independent young women now.
I'm sure your son will do fine.
Lee
Tossing It Out
i think the most important thing anyone can do, parent, teacher, mentor, friend, is to be there and let them know they're loved and supported. which i'm sure you already do.
hope you're having a great weekend. we're getting a break in the heat-are you?
Great teachers are such a boon to us all. I know he will miss her.
But this isn't sad--she has made an incredible impact on his life that will last a very long time! What she has given him will remain in his heart and he will forever remember that.
My daughter's teacher died when she was in 5th grade. He was an incredible teacher that everyone adored. The school handled it poorly by not providing counseling for the kids, but the ADULTS!!! It was INSANE. Then they threatened to arrest any parent who tried to walk their child into the building the next day.
Long story short--I had to help my child realize that Mr. Creighton will always be in her heart and those a-holes in administration can never take that away from her.
I think you can help your child realize that change is inevitable and nothing lasts forever--no matter how much we wish it to be. And he will just have to remember what she taught him.
He'll be fine. Probably better than you are holding up!
Great news for the great teacher! :D And, great news for your son ONCE HS gets here. :o ~ I know it must be a huge bummer right now though... I hope it isn't too discipointing for him.
We have five kids (now adults) some of them needed some sheltering and some of them avoided it at all costs. Those who needed, demanded, or accepted our sheltering ended up much less capable in adult life. As a kid, I got zero sheltering and I think all kids need to feel sheltered at times. Great post!
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