Friday, December 30, 2011

Keeper of the Memories...

I have a memory room.

No, it’s not the space in my head where each remembrance is filed away under categories titled brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews or friends and occasions.

Rather it is the modest area in our bonus room where I construct and create the stories of my family’s years since the birth of Nicholas. I feel it’s vital for him to have recollections of the persons who are intricately woven through the cloth of life.

However, since arriving home from Ohio where I inherited six crates of aged slides, photographs and newspaper articles that belonged to my Grandmother, at present I am the keeper of memories. I take this responsibility seriously-as did my Grandma. 

Grandma was born in 1900 and it was a rare occurrence to witness her without a camera, presumably an old Kodak would be my guess. Every family happening and episode was chronicled through photos and slides and now each is in my possession.

Although Grandma died in 1986 leaving behind a bitter divisive family –consequences of greed and selfishness; the multitude of snapshots account for every person in my childhood devoid of experiences of divorce, death, or disconnect.

Therefore I am immersed in my past which belies a surplus of sentiments-many blogs in the making I presume. It commenced with a drive by of the farmhouse in December where my Grandparents settled and stumbled upon much of my upbringing as it was the hideaway from the cruel part of my early days.
the farm house on Hepler Road
the side of the house

For those moments I breathed the fragrance of the hay and envisioned soaring down the hill on a sled with my siblings landing in the icy chilly creek below. I surveyed the patch under the buckeye trees where my cousins and I could acquire 25 cents a grocery bag for the nuts. I inspected the porches where the dogs Yippy, Queenie and Rover rested on any given warm summer day.
Entangled in my head are the if you are looking for me, I'm in my room with an old fashioned slide projector reuniting the people of my past.

 “The things which the child loves remain in the domain of the heart until old age. The most beautiful thing in life is that our souls remaining over the places where we once enjoyed ourselves.”

by Kahlil Gibran

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

My Christmas thoughts I give to you isn’t just for this time of year, I would like it to last throughout the fifty-two weeks if possible. What’s more, there’s no need to wrap it and put it under my tree, because it’s not just for me.

You see, as an adult I have very few requests or requirements but perhaps more yearnings and desires entwined with others; does that change your purpose?

First, my wish for my husband; a job –but Lord Santa not just a job, a passion and livelihood where he finds stimulation and inspiration -something that doesn’t feel like work yet pursues a life’s desire that will also provide for his family. So can a financial backer be placed in a box?

Numerous family and friends are without this holiday season; without employment, without loved ones who have met their God or without funds to provide gifts for their children so I pose that you seek their true heart’s desire and make available some Christmas magic.

I invite you to wrap healing in a box with a glittering green bow- healing from physical wounds and illnesses as well as curative methods for whatever ails my loved ones suffering from mental anguish.

I request as most of us do that anger and violence in the world today be replaced with peaceful encounters that serve to better the world in which we live. Can you sprinkle some magical dust that promotes serene calm to nations, governments and individuals with personal wars to fight that may cause separation and division between friends and family.

And last, may the children of today, Nicholas included -be welcomed into this society with affection, acceptance and approval to be precisely who they are without ridicule or torment. May you provide strength to each to stand proudly for their cause and follow the path of their life with self-respect and dignity.

Thank you Lord Santa, and I will be certain to leave some cookies upon your arrival and my heart as you know will be forever grateful.

Merry Christmas to you and yours~

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Tiffin Times...

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

By Paul Boese

As I made the drive from Columbus to Tiffin for the next stop on my book signing for Life through the Eyes of a Hurricane: Doggie-Dog! my insides twirled and twisted with anticipation and apprehension.

Tiffin, Ohio is my place of origin, my growing up location- the space where I learned to walk and talk as well as ride a bike and drive a car. I was cultured to maneuver the back roads shared by tractors and combines and sought comfort in the fragrance of cow manure and the harvest of corn or soy beans. I knew the calm and reassurance of attending a one building school, Hopewell-Loudon therefore I graduated with most folks I shared Kindergarten memories.

On the other hand, it was also the scene of torment and distress throughout childhood and where as an adult I envisioned the face of my abuser/s ‘round every corner. Anxiety and uneasiness were part of every encounter as hyper-vigilance served as armor.

I’ve acknowledged shrill and valiantly; however that forgiveness is a powerful gesture. As a result of those actions toward once despised individuals, I embarked upon this event with affection, acceptance and approval preparing the homecoming proper for a queen.

Paper and Ink was host to the book signing equipped with a reporter from the local newspaper, the Advertiser Tribune. Being surrounded by family, childhood and college friends I possessed a protective covering although unnecessary as I have learned to embrace my past with the awareness it has made me the human being I am today. So I applaud all those people; good, bad or indifferent and extend a hand of thanks since my life is filled with magnificence and joy.

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now!”

By Anonymous

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Look Back...

November 30, 2011

...IEP meetings, eligibility accounts, progress reports and day to day teaching has extracted me from my Cloud Nine status I enveloped myself in from my trip to Ohio. However short lived, I certainly captured great pleasure from the experience as well as the people despite its inevitable conclusion.  

Truth be told, when stillness surrounds me, I delight in the memories as a child cherishes Christmas Day-it was truly magical.
Allow me to take you on this enchanting excursion through my book signing in Hilliard, Ohio at New Grounds Coffee Shop

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love,
the things you are, the things you never want to lose."

...stay tuned for the book signing in Tiffin, Ohio...

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Hey, did you miss me?

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."
By Unknown~
Hi…did you miss me?
Well, regardless if you did or did not, I’m thankful to broadcast we made a safe return to North Carolina on Sunday after a grand and glorious eight days in Ohio. The moments in time spent with cherished friends and family will be forever etched in my mind as well as engraved in my heart.
The abundant events and gatherings with loved ones will provide rich recollections of laughter, tears, joy and genuine hugs with by no means, a deficiency on ‘I love you’s’; an expression I’m no longer embarrassed to vocalize and did so freely.
I’ve deliberately avoided this blog since I am finding it surprisingly complicated to arrange the various experiences and emotions into orderly definitive categories; no one experience or person rises above another.
However, the sentiment that I can label as being prevalent was the affection and cordial support by all; former students and parents, childhood and high school friends, blog and church camp connections, previous teachers and co-workers and treasured sorority sisters including both my big and little sis as well as those individuals I met along the journey.
How blessed I was to be acknowledged and recognized by these deep attachments in my life as well as my family. The look of pride and pleasure in sharing the momentous occasions of a book signing was beyond any language I possess.
Words and feelings shared during those days, hours, and minutes certainly closed the  absence from these links to my past, but it truly remained clear that what I experienced could only be sensed from within.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
- Helen Keller