Sunday, November 6, 2011

...a sense of loss



While on my walk this morning which I hadn’t done lately for a multitude of reasons, laziness being one of them as well as time constraints, or it’s too darn cold in NC, etc… the word ‘loss’ truly just inserted itself into my head like a zit pops upon your face; it’s just there! I was like ‘whoa, where did that come from?’


We as humans are capable of suffering from various types of loss; loss of a job, loss of a loved one, a loss of freedom and there’s also a loss of mobility. There is loss of independence as well as a loss of eyesight or hearing. The only loss I can think of off-handedly that brings joy is a loss of weight!

While there are a host of definitions contained in the Dictionary Merriam-Webster Online, one definition of loss is the decrease in amount, magnitude or degree.

This is the description I’ll focus on since this is the one that plagues me and this is the reason why. I discovered on Friday through a dear friend that a valued companion of ours has cancer. Indeed she is in shock since hearing the news and most likely suffering from the loss of which I speak.

I wonder when her thoughts travel hither and yon in her mind, if the word cancer has robbed her psyche of the lack of restrictions from a previous stated amount of safe and secure beliefs flowing within. I wonder if she’ll catch herself needing to remind her of the uncertain future that lies ahead. I wonder if she’ll experience loss and if so, what kinds? I question if there is anything her support systems will be able to do to replace this sense of loss in her heart.

On the other hand, perhaps the sense of loss is what I’m feeling particularly when unfortunate events and ill-fated news permeates the life of a loved one. Conceivably loss is more a lack of control that the world can embark its ugliness at any given time and place and to whomever it may please.

Regardless, Roseanne Cash once said, ‘Loss is the great unifier, the terrible club to which we all eventually belong."

19 comments:

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Gee----I really understand the feelings of LOSS myself lately also. I have always been blessed with good health ---and have never really thought much about it, one way or the other... BUT---losing this good health scared me to death.... Thank Goodness I am on the road to recovery--but the past 3 weeks has been rough... YET---I have no loss like cancer ---so I guess I shouldn't be complaining.
Hugs,
Betsy

Ginny said...

I'm so sorry for your friend. But it is true that we really don't have much control over our lives, only how we live them. I love Rosanne Cash, and have some of her C.D.'s.

Muffy's Marks said...

Prayers out to your friend. Losing control is a terrible thing.

2 Tramps said...

A very thought provoking post. I just came home from visiting my cousin and my Mom. My cousin, who is younger than I am, has had cancer three times. I fear for her - I wonder what she feels. My Mom is hard of hearing and expressed to me her feelings about not being able to hear her friends when they are all out together. She has been staying away from events where it is difficult to hear. Everyone experiences some level of loss. Life is all about how you deal with the hand that is dealt - not only to you but to those that you love...

Inger said...

I'm sorry for your friend.But I want to add a different perspective. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 1999, I imagined I would be scared and experience loss, but instead I found incredible strength within me. Strength that I didn't know I had. It came from a spiritual place, but also very much an every day kind of place, one of: I want to get through this and I want to live so I will do all that is asked of me to survive this. And if it doesn't work, then I will be at peace, knowing that I gave it my best shot. I think once you get over the initial shock of a cancer diagnosis, we all find that something within that will see us through. Thanks for this thought- provoking post.

Susie Swanson said...

One never thinks about it until they're faced with it. Loss of health can be devasting and the loss of a love one is worse. I've had to face both..as have a lot of folks. We never know how we would feel, if told that we had cancer like your friend. The family is devasted too. We've lost three in our family to the dreaded disease..Good post.Susie

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

So happy to see you in my comments section today, Tracy. <3

Life is a funny thing -- ups and downs and sideways. It's never static or boring, that's for sure.

Mamma has spoken said...

It's times like this that make us reflect so much on our own existence and pray that all goes well.
Thoughts and prayers are headed your way...

Heather said...

it seems like there is more loss going on than i can handle right now - that's why we must take advantage of every moment we have - your photo is lovely, too!.

Peggy K said...

As a three time cancer survivor, I have to say that Inger's comment is closer to my experience. Once you get the news and work thru the shock of it, you find this strength that you never knew you had. I'd like to believe that because of the strength I showed, my brother handled his diagnosis with much strength. In fact, I was less angry with my diagnoses than I was with his. Maybe because I couldn't fight this one for him. But that strength does leave you with a certain peace. I'm grateful for that.

Arkansas Patti said...

I am so sorry for your friend and hope she is on her way with therapy to regaining her loss.
I am with Inger. I am a cancer survivor also and feel I gained so much more than I lossed.
Each day and each person in my life, now are treasured and not taken for granted as before. I feel no loss, only a very wonderful gain. I would not trade that for a cancer free body.

Bish Denham said...

So sorry to hear about your friend. You are not alone. I too have a friend recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She has only a few months...It's hard, very hard.

Happy Days said...

I am very sorry for your friend. I just recently had 2 friends come down with cancer. Both men. They are going through a tough time. One with Leukekmia and the other Cancer of the Sinus Cavity. Hopefully they will be able to say they feel no loss but the wonderful gain of life. I hope so...debbie

Julie Musil said...

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this news. Thankfully your friend has great people like you to help her through this time.

Munir said...

My prayers for your friend Tracy. You have such a good heart and God listens to people with good hearts. While we do not have control over some things that happen to either test us or as a part of the turning of this world, we do get strength for coping with them if we ask. I will definately pray for you. Hugs -

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I'm sorry for you and your friend.
I hope it all works out well.
Puts my small issues in perspective.

LTM said...

((hugs)) to you and your friend. I'm so sorry for your loss. That's a great quote by R.C.--so true. :o\ <3

June said...

All I can do Tracy, is send you a big hug and say prayers for your friend. I am so sorry that your friend has got to go through this. I lost my SIL last October to cancer and it is still a loss I feel greatly.

I just have to say a HUGE thanks for sending me your book!!! What an awesome thing for you to do. I LOVED it, and it brought me so much joy to read it! The chapter 'Offspring' had me laughing out loud! Now that IS a rush job!

I also went back here on your blog to read a couple of the posts I had missed and 'Hey,It's me Angel Kitty' was so darn cute. As was the photos of your darling son.
sending hugs...

Catherine said...

Sending you big hugs Tracy! Life can be hard sometimes but always so worth it.

Hope you are doing well my friend!
xo Catherine