Sunday, January 29, 2012

Who's Truth?



Today is what I call a respite day…a breather from the hustle-bustle of life. It’s been one of those weeks where demands have been plentiful so I may not even get out of my jammies!

On days where stillness is offered I tend to retreat inward to renew and rejuvenate the sense of self while also taking inventory along with searching for a topic or two to address in my writing.  

As often happens I drift mindlessly through the pages of the internet welcoming an outwardly induced focus which interestingly enough came by way of a quote by Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper. It stated, “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

Ouch…perhaps she’s correct and what if it is?  The times I’ve felt lonely I might have eluded that it was because I did enjoy alone-time, being by myself, blah, blah, blah…I can’t help but wonder the applicable tendencies in my own lifetime and if so, what would it matter?

In addition to my own being and self-analysis, I reflect on individuals in my life who have suffered and endured numerous disappointments and disenchantments at the hands of others and would they admit to truth in this statement?

Would you?

25 comments:

Happy Days said...

I think those who are loners are in a vivious cycle of depression and don't know how or what to do to change it. There are endless reasons why some people are loners, but I really think it all comes down to depression. ...debbie

Daisy said...

I think there may be some truth in that for some people, but I don't believe it is true for everyone. Some people really do find peace and are at their happiest when they are by themselves. Being alone and being lonely aren't the same thing in my mind. When someone is alone, I don't think it necessarily means they have been disappointed by others.

Berts Blog said...

Daisy said it for me...

Retired English Teacher said...

I think the term "loner" is applied to a lot of different personality types. I'm not sure one could actually describe certain traits to a loner and have them all fit.

Sometimes a person becomes a loner because of depression, or illness, or other factors that cause self-imposed isolation.

Some enjoy solitude and are more centered when alone. I just don't know that we can call those who prefer solitude loners, nor can we call those who are ill loners because perhaps they crave company but are unable to reach out because of the illness.

You asked a complex question. :)

Betsy from Tennessee said...

I'm one of those HAPPY LONERS. I don't really enjoy being totally alone --but love being with someone --one-on-one... Cannot stand groups, parties, socializing like that... That's just ME and the way I am.. I have never wished I was more of a 'people person' ... I love the ME I AM....

Don't know why some people consider loners LONELY... Some definitely are not...

Great post, Tracy.
Hugs,
Betsy

Ginny said...

Well, no matter how many disappointments, I think we still need to get out there and live, not shut ourselves off. Because also we have so much we can give to and help others, as well. But we need to always be aware that we will be often disappointed in life and no one is perfect or can give us everything we need.

Catherine said...

This is a very thought provoking post. I like being alone quite often and enjoy more one on one friendships. I don't like crowds at all. I've never had a lot of friends. Just one or two close ones. I've never needed to be around lots of people.

Sending you hugs!
xo Catherine

Jeanie said...

Yes, it is a complex question. I think we need to be okay with ourselves when we are alone and preferring to be alone at times is okay, but wanting to only be alone is another matter.

Brian said...

Being alone isn't too bad as long as you do it with a friend!

Susie Swanson said...

I'm one of those gals that like a little alone time every once and a while but I love time spent with others as well..Susie

Lin said...

I don't associate wanting to be alone with depression. On the contrary, I think it is very healthy to be comfortable being alone! I admire people who can go to a movie or dinner out alone--that is being comfortable in your own skin if you ask me.

As for the quote, I think it may be true sometimes. My son is sort of a loner and yes, he has been disappointed with a lot of people in his life and hurt by many of them. He likes to be alone, but he also likes being with a friend just as much. It is just trusting someone to be your friend that is hard after being hurt.

So, no, Happy Days, I don't think that counts as depression, but maybe just being selective.

Marg said...

I am a loner except for all my animals because People are a huge disappointment but that may be because I expect too much out to people. I do have some really good friends in the world though.

Kerri said...

Some of my favorite times have been spent alone. I really do enjoy being by myself ..... But I don't think I would describe myself as a loner. I definitely don't like crowds.
You've really gotten me thinking about this. Great post!

Julie Harward said...

Oh yes, I would share about learning to trust women...I have met a few back stabbers in my life time, but the good women have out weighed the not so nice. I think we are all loners at times, coming out when we need a hug! LOL

Linda Reeder said...

While there may be truth to that statement, it's not the whole truth. Being a "loner" is not a dysfunction, it's a personality type. Some of us just enjoy our own company more than that of some people we know.

Tina said...

I do not agree with the idea that there's something wrong with you if you are a loner. As someone commented above, being alone and being lonely are two different things.

I am an introvert. That is not a personality disorder; it's a personality type. I get my energy from being alone, not from being with people. It doesn't mean I don't want to be with people.

I don't like crowds and I don't like to be around people all the time. I'm a quiet person. My husband is too.

Out on the prairie said...

i try not to be a loner but end up that way with my schedule and hobbies.

i hate shopping alone.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Well, everyone has a tendency to be either introverted or extroverted. We're born that way (they can actually predict with accuracy, based on the behavior of most newborns, which we'll be). However, I'd agree that our environmental events can push us more towards being a loner.

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

You and I have "talked" about this before, Tracy. This is interesting, because I was talking to my hubby about this, this morning.

I stated that at this time in my life, I'm comfortable with being an anti-social loner, because people can be such a pain in my ass.

Yep, I said it.

Arkansas Patti said...

If there are degrees of "loner" I guess I would be a part time loner. I adore parties and large groups of people but I also adore and need my quiet times. I really like my own company.

Rita said...

I find it is good to be a loner at times, as long as you are happy with yourself. After that tough week we all need alone time to breath and reflect. Hope you have good week Tracy.
Rita

GAIL said...

Tracy, thank you for stopping by my blog Seasons Adventures after I won the 2011 Photo contest at Retirement Cronicles.
And I am pleased to see that you are following my friend Julie's blog "A Life To Short". This internet is making the world smaller every day!
Again, thank you for stopping by.
Gail

Arlee Bird said...

Some respite time sounds nice and I like to have times alone. I know the feelings of burn and disappointment, but I try to get over it and keep living life. Friends and family are good to have and it can be fun to meet people.


Lee
Tossing It Out

Corine said...

I don't want to be a loner... but many times I have felt like one because of being so crazy busy that I don't reach out and invite people into my life enough. It is easy to say, "no one ever asks me to do things with them" but harder to answer "how often do I go be with others or invite others to be with me?" I thank God for friends who come visit me or reach out to me in any way, especially right now while I have not seemed to be able to reach out to others as much as I want to... I pray to be such a friend to many others! I also thank God for giving me the calling as Assistant Compassionate Service leader in our church. Because of this I am making time to reach out again - and it is not only blessing those I reach out to, it is blessing my life! :)
Hugs to you,
Corine :D

Just Be Real said...

Powerful compassionate post. Blessings to you Tracy.