Okay, I’m a lost and broken dog. I have a terrible confession: I have a sock fetish, which according to the dictionary means “an obsessive or unhealthy preoccupation or attachment with an object.”
But there, I said it . . . and often heard that the first step in overcoming an addiction is to admit I have a problem. It is a terrible problem. I can’t get enough socks, which is even more of a problem because they aren’t my socks!
Well, they eventually become my socks because I chew and tear so many holes in them that no one can wear the foot coverings by time I’m done with them, but that’s beside the point.
You see, they are my family’s socks. I can’t help it and I am so ashamed of myself. Whenever I see a sock in the laundry basket I have to go grab it, stretch it until I hear that priceless sound: ripping. AAHHHH, a sound of satisfaction! Tear it, shred it, and grate it; that is when they are at their best!
Even though Big D has tucked them deep into the toe of the shoe, I like to get into Big Daddy’s running shoes. I stick my nose into the cavernous shoe until I can reach just a teensy-weensy thread and pull it out. Yeah, I know, the smell is pretty unpleasant and you’d think that would deter me, but I guess that indicates how desperate my dilemma is.
I’ve even been known to chase Little Daddy around the house when he’s taking his shoes off so I can grab a sliver of the cloth and help in pulling it off his foot. If I do that, then at least the taste is in my mouth and there’s a better chance I get to keep it since I put the entire sock in my jawbone and slobber all over it. They don’t like to touch it when it is coated with dribble.
Then, I dash into my favorite upstairs hiding place: under the bed. I know, I know, I’m a big dog but I can still fit under the bed and no one comes in after me. The beauty of that is they know I have the upper hand, so they go to the cabinet in the bathroom to get a biscuit to entice me to come out. When I hear that box, I immediately go to my bed, the heck with the sock!―a quest for a later time and date. Besides, I have the best of both worlds: a biscuit AND the sock!
Yes, it is true. I go to great lengths to feed my addiction. I follow Nee Nee up the stairs biting at her heals until she gives them up, or until I trip her. Sorry, Nee Nee! Or, I stand on my hind legs at the washer and dryer searching for strays, and park myself politely at the dryer while clothes are being folded to quickly grab one that may fall on the floor. I’m getting pretty good at Snatch-and-Go’s.
Now, if you want to know how the story finishes, go to Amazon.com to download the book Life through the Eyes of a Hurricane: Doggie-Dog! This e-book will be free for this week ONLY! (SAle ends Saturday, July 7.
So tell your friends, tell your neighbors and tell your relatives that there is something free in life.
Fellow bloggers; post the information on your blog if you want to help me promote my book~