“Little Tracy” appeared upon awakening yesterday, which coincidentally was Father’s Day.
I don’t like Father’s Day! I never have, and I probably never will-other than the fact I honor the wonderful father my husband is to our son; that is truly worth celebrating!
Therefore to honor the inner child, I made no comments on facebook regarding the significance of the day nor did I write a post addressing the date. In fact, I began reading and commenting on my bloggy friends’ posts prior to the uprising of angst, as a result I ceased.
Imagine standing in front of a multitude of cards at the Hallmark store attempting to choose a card with the basic intent of showering love, adoration and affection toward the male figure in your life.
Believe me when I tell you there are NO cards that say, ‘No thanks from me, your daughter-You were a HORRIBLE father!’ or perhaps a card using sarcasm, ‘Thanks for ruining my life; want to pay my therapy bills?’
This tumultuous relationship has over-shadowed and clouded countless interactions with men including that of the Heavenly Father. I remember attending church pleading and bargaining with God to let the drinking discontinue or the beatings subside. I begged Him to end ALL the wrongdoing just as He had calmed the mighty seas.
He didn’t! My anger in Him mirrored the tides with the continual ebbs and flows. However, thanks to obvious therapy and long conversations with pastor friends, Connie and Karen; the anger dissipated and my relationship with God has been transformed as a solid rock.
Which why on June, 19th-Father’s Day I rose to greet the sunlight hours, crabbiness and all to assure the child within by way of a silent prayer...
Thank you for this day to bid eternal praise for the many individuals
who acted as father figures all through my life.
Thank you for loving me even when I doubt your intentions and
harbor resentments toward you. In this, I ask for your forgiveness~
Thank you for a loving husband who is an affectionate and
devoted father to our son. Amen~
"An angry father is most cruel towards himself."
by Publilius Syrus