Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ode to Today....

Ode to today; temperatures are dropping like acorns from an oak, the wind is blustery, and the last bit of foliage is hanging on for dear life! And I, my friends must return to work; CRAP!


I know such despicable and ineffective words coming from a writer’s mouth. However, I must delve into the world of lesson plans, IEP’s, calm the fears of parents, ready children for those useless tests ‘they’ insist we give, love, nurture, mother… after two and a half weeks off I do declare I am not ready! Excuse me for opening the day so grouchy and cantankerous! It’s typically not my nature, but it is today!

However, to switch gears I thought I’d post a story from my book that is contracted to be published: My Life as a Dog...resting on its shoulders the entry will not only to add a brightness to my day but it will also give a flavor to several of you who have asked what the book is about. The stories and excerpts are written on the everyday, mundane world of our golden retriever’s life.



 
My Life as a Dog….and the 12 Step Program~

Okay, I’m a lost and broken dog. I have a terrible confession: I have a sock fetish which according to the dictionary means an obsessive or unhealthy preoccupation or attachment with an object.

But there, I said it and often heard that the first step in overcoming an addiction is to admit I have a problem. It is a terrible problem. I can’t get enough socks which is even more of a problem because they aren’t my socks! Well, they eventually become my socks because I chew and tear so many holes in them that no one can wear the foot coverings by time I’m done with them, but that’s beside the point. You see, they are my family’s socks. I can’t help myself and I am so ashamed of myself. Whenever I see a sock in the laundry basket I have to go grab it, stretch it until I hear that priceless sound ripping; AAHHHH, a sound of satisfaction! Tear it, shred it, and grate it; that is when they are at their best!

I like to get into Big Daddy’s running shoes and even though he has tucked them deep into the toe of the shoe, I stick my nose in until I can reach just a teensy-weensy thread and pull it out. Yeah, I know, the smell is pretty unpleasant and you’d think that would deter me, but I guess that tells you how desperate my dilemma is.


I’ve even been known to chase Little Daddy around the house when he’s taking his shoes off so I can grab a sliver of the cloth and help in pulling it off his foot. If I do that, then at least the taste is in my mouth and there’s a better chance I can keep it since I put the entire sock in my jawbone and slobber all over it. They don’t like to touch it when it is coated with dribble. Then, I dash into my favorite upstairs hiding place; under the bed. I know, I know, I’m a big dog but I can still fit under the bed and no one comes in after me. The beauty of that is they know I have the upper hand so they go to the cabinet in the bathroom and get a biscuit to entice me to come out. When I hear that box, I immediately go to my bed, the heck with the sock!…a quest for a later time and date. Besides, I have the best of both worlds; a biscuit AND the sock!

Yes, it is true. I go to great lengths to feed my addiction; I follow Nee Nee up the stairs biting at her heals until she gives them up, or until I trip her. Sorry, Nee Nee! Or, I stand on my hind legs at the washer and dryer searching for strays, and I park myself politely at the dryer while clothes are being folded to quickly grab one that may fall on the floor. I’m getting’ pretty good at ‘Snatch-and-Go’s’.

So while I’ve admitted my compulsion I’m not ready to follow Step 6 OR Step 7; were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character and humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings …ummm, should I? …NAAAHHHHH, I like socks too much and how else can I keep my family entertained by my antics?

I love this life…

31 comments:

Erin said...

Great story! Only I wish Hurricane had stolen my socks instead of my bra... =) Good thing I was tricky enough to steal it back with no holes and only a little bit of slobber.

Nancy said...

And I thought my dog Sioux was the only one with this compulsion. Only she doesn't destroy them, she just gently lifts them from wherever they may be and lays down contented. Underwear works just as well. They are so funny sometimes. :)

turquoisemoon said...

ha ha ha...too funny! Our "doggie babies" are just too cute.

Out on the prairie said...

Clasic story, it appeals to a part of our heart.A friend got a new pup and gave it an old slipper. I warned her you just justified your scent and she laughed. Three pairs of dress shoes later she fessed up that I was right.

Arkansas Patti said...

Just love it and have been on the wrong end of that addiction before with a new pup. Smelly feet do not deter but only enhance the sport. I mean, what do they love to roll in? Feet are minor smells. Love the direction of your book. More please.

Wanda's Wings said...

Dog are such wonderfully funny "people".

JennyD said...

LOL, adorable story! Sock it to me!

Tracy said...

Erin, just this morning I had to put 'underwear' on my list of things I needed as well as socks for Nicholas!

Oh Nancy, perhaps Hurricane and Sioux belong to the same support group?

TurquoiseMoon, I wouldn't trade our 'doggie babies' for the world!

Arkansas Patti, EXACTLY! ...what do they roll in :) good point, so why would I expect the smell of dirty feet to deter Hurricane!

Wanda's Wings, Yes, they are wonderful people; what would we do without them to add joy and love to our days...
Out on the Prairie, yep...you WERE right! they have no boundaries, do they!?

By the way, I decided to work from home today so I'm NOT cantankerous anymore :)

Tracy said...

Jenny...HOW FUNNY!!!

Carol Riggs said...

Oh wow, even snatching socks (or trying to) while they're on your family's feet! Hilarious. Sorry you have to go back to work. Hang in there. Thanks for letting us read an excerpt!

I've also awarded you a Versatile Blogger Award today! Come fetch the award image to post on your blog and pass on to others:
Artzicarol Ramblings

Wanda..... said...

Loved the photo of the sock thief in action!

That could get expensive!

Hound Girl said...

LOL I love this - Fred is my sock theif! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Jennifer said...

I don't knit sew or crochet either but I decided to buy a few if I can find them - I also put out a request on my school's email (I'm a nurse in a high school of 2000 students). P.S. My dog Spice is a Sock Hound too...ewww factor! Jennifer

Carol Riggs said...

Hi Self-Proclaimed Blogger Neophyte LOL--
To collect the award, right click on the award and select Save Image. Save it on your computer where you can find it. Then you can post it on your blog sidebar from the Dashboard > Design area, selecting Add Gadget and then Add Picture and Browse (to get it from your computer). Need more help? Write to me at artzicarol [at] gmail [dot] com

Patty Ann said...

Love the story of your sock thief! Isn't it amazing what those critters will get into?? They are almost as bad as the kids!!

Tucker said...

What is it with us Goldens and socks... never can get my fill... hmmmmmmmmm sport socks... Tucker

Brian said...

I totally loved the sock monster story!!!

Tracy said...

CArol Riggs, YES, it is an absolute hoot...that silly thing! Thank you again for my award! I will try out your instructions and let you know how it works, or IF it works!

YEs, Wanda, it does get expensive from time to time, we try to keep it from happening but he's clever :)

Hound Girl...you're welcome and Oh Fred!

I'm with you Jennifer; EWWWW!!!

Patty Ann, YES, they are sometimes WORSE than kids!

Tucker; I hope you aren't as bad as Hurricane! Be a good boy now...

Brian, YES, he is a sock monster...shame on him!

Ginny said...

Hi Tracy, thanks for commening on my blog. Sorry I caught you on a grumpy day, but it couldn't have been a better one for me to find you. Your book excerpt is sweet and hilarious!!! It reminds me of the time my dog ate a double edged razor blade and a Midol. Shhh, don't tell anyone, I will be posting about it some time. Your dog is quite sweet looking (at least when he has his sock fix!)

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi Tracy, Love the 'sock' story... Bet you all have to buy lots of socks, don't you????? ha ha ha .... Cute story!!!!! Good thing it's JUST socks --and not something bigger and more expensive (like pillows)... ha

I remember when I taught how much I dreaded going back to work after being off for awhile... Good LUCK....

Hugs,
Betsy

Rita said...

Hi
Rita here. Love reading your post. I want to thank you for your visit. Sending this to my grandson who has 2 dogs and often commenting on their behaviot.
Thank you for your lovely comments; wasn't sure if I should post this. YOu made me feel real good about it and I appreciate.

Simple Southern Happiness said...

Nah is right...we seldone have much fun in life so you hang tight to your addiction. At least its not an expensive addiction. We (2 Parrots) like socks too so we have something in common. WE love white ones the best. When our masters prop their feet up, we have to fly down and rip those booties right off. Sometime we miss and get to their flesh... not a pretty site with red oozing through white. So enjoy your fun and we will stand by you ready to take up for you.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you will come again to see how eveything turns out. If you are that close to us, you may hear how with either a scream or deep sobbing.

I see you are getting what we had yesterday, talk about scary. A few miles north of us they got hit bad but we are thanking the lord the trees stayed upright.

God Bless.

Tracy said...

Ginny, I never seem to hang onto my grumpiness for long; just not me! But thank you for stopping by! OUCH!!! a double edge razor AND midol? she must have known how to soothe the pain :) ...and I promise, I won't tell a soul, but look forward to it!

YEs, Betsy, it does seem as if we are buying new socks quite frequently! I actually do like my job, it's the transition between home and school but once I'm there, I'm fine!

Rita, I'm so glad you stopped by...let me know how the grandson likes Hurricane :) I cetainly am glad you posted it...it's YOUR truth so why not? besides, you never know when you'll be helping others.

a parrot liking socks? I've heard it all now...Yep, I kinda like my addiction so I think I will hang onto it for awhile and perhaps if I do go to my 12 step program, you could join me!
I'm so glad you stopped by...getting to know others is so much fun! Yes, it's chilly here now; brrr...don't like the cold!

Bobbi said...

LOL> Love it! Gracie had this addiction at one time as well... And she too, has written a memoir... I can't wait to read your book!!!

Daisy said...

I hope your day got better as it went along. :-)

Very funny story about your dog. My dog loves socks too, but he doesn't rip them or chew them. He just likes to grab them and take them and keep them in his bed. HA!

Carol Riggs said...

My, that's a lovely blog award ya got there, ma'am! Just sayin'. *grin*

I say, jolly good posting job! (must say this with a Brit accent)

ShirleyC said...

Following you back. I see that you are a teacher. God bless you! Sounds so familiar. I retired in Jan. '09. I don't miss it one bit. The state took the joy out of teaching a long time ago.
Love your dog story. We had to put our Pom to sleep in Oct. She was also a sock thief. Even in her old age of 16.

Priscilla said...

Love your story and the picture! You're a wonderful story teller. It seems dogs are funny and they love socks. Eva loves socks too and she likes to snip us while we're having our socks on!!!

Thanks for stopping by! Your blog is really interesting!

From the Kitchen said...

Oh my goodness--love the "taking the sock right off the foot" photo! I love the book excerpt and your dog. I will not share the story with our dalmatian, Oliver, since I don't want him to take on any more bad habits!

Best,
Bonnie

DoanLegacy said...

We have been experience light snow these last two days..I just want to be wrap in blanket and hibernate!

The Words Crafter said...

My youngest kitty has a thing for tissue paper!

This was funny!